Random Nice Guy
So, I am often approached by a lot of guys that I think are the wrong guy, based on very surface things initially. True, but if I am not attracted to your appearance or how you carry yourself, than I am not. Of course the guy I want to approach me just makes eye contact and keeps walking. I can’t even fault the guy that I am un-attracted to for approaching me. At least he has the balls to pursue something that caught his attention. So how do you say I am not interesting in giving you my number without hurting his pride?
Rude Guy
Then what about the guy that gets rude with you because you would not stop and talk to them or give them your number? I do not like the guys who can’t handle rejection like men. I try to get rude with him but sometimes they bring it out of me.
Acquaintance
What about the guy you know from another setting, say church, school, or work? You have told him numerous of times you are not interested in anything other than a friendship, but he persists. What do you say or do in order to ensure you handle the situation delicate as possible because you will see him again? What if you have said it nicely, and sometimes even try to avoid him but he still persists?
My situation 1
One key thing is consistency. If you say I am not interested in you, but you let him take you out and buy you drinks, he could become confused. The same thing is true if you allow him to say flirty things, us women can be flirty and not really realize it or do we? Our smallest gesture can be perceived as interest. I once had a co-worker who was clearly interested. I would hang out with him initially but when I realized that there was nothing there for me, I explained to him and started to limit my along time with him. We went to the same church as well, so I saw him pretty often. So even in our smallest interactions, he would ask me over and over again if I was sure. Once he said he was hungry and needed $5 for MacDonald’s. I only had $2 on me and I gave it to him and he asked me again standing right there if i was sure that I did not like him. I am left standing there thinking what did I do but me my nice self. So should I not be nice to the guy that I am not interested in so he will not misinterpret my kindness?
My situation 2
The other key is do you want the attention that the guy is providing with his persistence? If you kind of like all the attention, then maybe you are not trying hard enough to get rid of him. If the guy thinks you like it even a little bit that is enough fuel to keep him going and trying harder and harder. For example, when I am out and a guy approaches me I usually smile and say no thank you. If I stand there longer he will try something different to try to get me to reconsider. So I have learned to just say no and walk away. Otherwise, he has put in 1 hour of work and now I feel like I should at least give him some body’s number. Lol. Another example, is this dude from my church, I told him I did not like him like that and I do not see us in a relationship but he still texts me and I texts him when I am bored as well. So I guess you can say I like the attention. So it is understandable why he texts me consistently. Although, I think we need to limit our communications due to his current situation.
What do you ladies think? How do you say NO to guys (persistent bastards, lol)?
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That's a hard one. Don't want to be rude but want him to understand that you are serious. Don't want to completely cut him off because getting the attention is nice...
ReplyDeleteFor the strangers, my easy way out was saying that I was flattered but currently in a happy and fulfilling "relationship" and not looking to meet anyone new (I did not feel I was lying since I did not say that I had a boyfriend -- only that I was in a relationship - i.e. I was happy nurturing my relationship with God, myself, friends, family, etc. (of course, I did not specify that with the guy). - Is it lying??
For the acquaintances, it's different since they won't buy that "excuse". After explaining that I am not interested, if he still persists, I would welcome the attention (attention is always nice and can't blame a guy for trying!). Still, I would not fuel his hopes – I would be nice and treat him like any other platonic friend – If he is naïve and thinks that my natural kindness meant more, too bad for him but I would not change the way I naturally act because of it. If he did not like it and became rude or stalker about it, I would cut off all ties, I did not have time for all the drama and did not feel bad being rude if he became rude and negatively annoying.
good comment Nadege!!
ReplyDeleteI know this post wasn't meant to be funny but I couldn't help but to laugh @ most of the things I've read. Women have it hard I see. If I see any hint that a woman's not interested in me ... I move along. With dignity still intact. Vice versa, I try to be nice until she says or does something "unusual." Exactly what I wait for - so I can have an excuse to cut all ties.
ReplyDeleteGood read.